No Air-Jordin Sparks

Is six weeks incredibly short or very long? I really couldn't say, but it’s how much longer I will be in South Africa.

Last week, I got an email from the registrar, telling me that I was registered for too many classes at Rhodes, and since they will only give me 4 credits/16 credit hours, I needed to drop one of my classes. I should have realized that this would happen eventually, but since I really like all of the classes I am taking, I sort of ignored the issue and hoped that it would magically get resolved (this magical resolution involved me getting credit for all of the classes I am taking, and probably getting some extra biology credits thrown in just for fun). However, behaving like an ostrich does not solve problems, especially ones that involve the registrar. So, I was faced with the dilemma: which class do I drop?

It was a long and tedious thought process, but the result was that I decided to drop my history class. Although this is disappointing in some ways, especially because it is my favorite class and we are covering modern South Africa this quarter, the truth is that I am perfectly capable of attending the lectures if I want, and I was really learning the most from the research I was doing for papers and such. All of the books and papers are still available for me to read, should I desire to read them. And I do, but the truth is that I probably won't read them, because I will be focusing on doing well in the upcoming exams for the classes I am actually getting credit for. The Gettyburgian achiever in me feels a little guilty that I am only taking three classes when I know I could be handling more rigorous academics—isn't college about pushing yourself to the limit and barely surviving from the stress, only to feel really good about what great work you are capable of when it's all over?—but its actually nice to have a bit less work and more time to focus on doing well in what is definitely a different academic setting.  Just reading the immense list of official rules about sitting for final exams freaks me out, not including the actual material that I will be expected to know (how do I know what will be on the finals? I have only taken one test the entire semester, and all of my classes have multiple lecturers/professors whose material will be on the final exam). 

But really, academics were not the most important factor in this decision. While I can't say I am sad about that research paper that I don't have to write now, it had way more to do with timing than anything else. History was the latest scheduled exam, so I am finished 11 days earlier now. This means that I will be home for Thanksgiving! (I am getting much better at explaining this holiday, by the way... also, Columbus day is not a holiday here, obviously, I totally forgot it existed until I saw grumpy facebook posts from people at home who were resentful because they didn't get off from classes) I needed to reschedule my flight anyway—it was too early—so barring a freak storm or something, I should be back in the US by the 22nd of November.

On one hand, I am very excited about this. I will be home for Thanksgiving! I will be home in six weeks... that is so soon! And I will get to see my family and eat my Mom's delightful cooking, rather than spending Thanksgiving studying for a final in South Africa, a land devoid of pumpkin pie. On the other hand, being home soon means leaving Africa soon. Am I ready for that? I was perusing my international friend's blogs, where she had discussed all of the things she had crossed off her Africa list, and I realized that there are so many things that I want to do that I haven't yet, and probably won't be able to do before I have to go. Among these are visiting Cape Town, Kruger National Park, and Victoria Falls. I haven't been shark diving, and I don't know when I am going to have a chance to go bungee jumping (I know some people would say "why would you even want the chance to do those things?" but with Bloukrans Bridge, the highest bungee jump in the world, about 4 hours from where I live, I can't help but hear it calling). Thinking about all of this, combined with the fact that I don't know when I will be back to South Africa, made me a bit depressed.

(Oh, I will be back... I just know that "soon" is probably not an appropriate adjective. I recently made the realization that I am likely going to be in school until my youth is just a memory, and I will have student loans until my children start college. Its difficult to work "fly to Africa and jump off a bridge" into this plan) 

But then I thought back to something that I wrote in an earlier post...Regardless of whether I don't travel anywhere during my stay in South Africa, make no friends, and fail my classes, the purpose of my life is still going to be worshiping the God of the universe. This is just as true now as it was when I first wrote it. I may be tempted to make my life, and especially my time here, into a check list, but the fact is that it's not. Most of my best memories are not from bucket-list-worthy activities (although to be fair, some are, and there is nothing wrong with setting goals for yourself). I have a tendency to want to quantify my life, to see if I am successful or accomplished enough to measure up... and the plain truth is that I am not. But instead of being devastating, like part of my brain wants to think, this is actually really freeing. 

This weekend was full of delightful things that I hadn’t put on any exquisite list. Friday, I ran up to the 1812 Settler's Monument, where there is a fantastic view that I have seen before but don’t get tired of. I spent most of Saturday afternoon lying in the sun out on the braai area next to our res with some of my friends, and spent the remainder of the afternoon with them on an impromptu mission to get ice cream. I woke up horrendously early Sunday morning to go to a bar and watch the Rugby World Cup (SA lost to Australia at the very end, it was really depressing but still more interesting than football). Sunday night there was a praise and worship session at Frontiers, and I was able to just worship with abandon in a really fulfilling way. I didn’t really plan for any of it to happen (okay, except for the running,) but it did, and it was good.