Only You-David Crowder Band

Today started off pretty rough, I’m not going to lie. But everything that was causing my bad day is circumstantial, and I wanted to let you know that God is way more permanent than my issues. This is true for everything, but sometimes it is more apparent than others.

For example, today started out with the thought “today I am going to figure out whether I am going to Mozambique or not”. I didn't. Kristen and I are hoping to travel there over the term vac, but in order for this to happen, I need to find out that 3 things are true:

1.     Cameron (one of the international guys) is coming with us. While I like a good adventure, I am not going with only one girl. If it’s only us, we will stay in SA, where there are more places that girls can travel alone safely.

2.     Vaccinations are not required to enter Mozambique or return to SA. Mozambique is not a Yellow fever region, but often you still need to have the vaccine to re-enter SA from some neighboring countries, and it is possible that it is required for entry. I didn’t get the vaccine before I left because I was a)stupid and b)not planning very well. Since I didn’t need any new vaccines to enter SA, I didn’t bother to go to a travel clinic… which also means that I don’t have the yellow book that has my immunizations record in it. So if you need this to get into Moz, I am stuck.

3.     Visas are either attainable at the border or can be gotten in a week. Citizens of most countries (except SA and a few neighboring countries) need a visa to enter Mozambique, and since we would be traveling by bus, we can’t just land in the airport and take care of it there. Most travel guides say that you can’t get a bus ticket straight to Maputo (the capital) unless you have a visa, because the bus wont wait for you to get one at the border. I think… most information is not very complete or official, and the embassy website is in Portuguese.

Anyway, just writing this out is making my stress level rise. Kristen and I had agreed that we would find out about these three things and make a decision by today. However, Cameron wasn’t in Kristen’s class today, and neither was Yve Marie, the guy who recommended Mozambique to us and would know about visas and vaccinations. Also, Kristen was going to call the embassy today, but she didn’t get time… and thus, still no answers. Planning travel stresses me out, and the fact that the trip is so close is making it way worse.

Then, we got our Zoo papers back after class today, and I didn’t do so well on it. And by not well, what I mean is that the professor thought I was answering a different essay question that I was, and he gave me a 30%. Also, it turns out that I had miscopied the question that I intended to answer, hence the professor not knowing which one I was answering. Either way, bad news bears. The grading system is different here, but a 50% is still failing. Just so you know. Also, Zoology is the only class I am taking that counts toward my major… so it is basically the only class that matters.

Thus, I was not in the best mood right around lunchtime today. Kristen had texted me to say that the guys weren’t in class, and that she wasn’t going to have time to call the embassy. Perhaps I should have offered to call them, but I ran out of airtime last night and need to buy more before I can make any calls. Also, I was fairly distressed by that point in the day, and I selfishly didn’t want to deal with it.

So, that brings us to the point in the story were things turn the corner. I had already used up my quota of listening to Jason Mraz’s Details in the Fabric to calm down while trying to figure out travel plans yesterday, and today was beyond Jason’s abilities. So I gave up trying to do my zoo lab, and opened my bible, which had psalm 49 marked for today. It might be hard to see this psalm as encouraging on the first read through, but I needed it. Verse 13 talks about “the fate of those who trust in themselves”, and it hit me so hard… that’s exactly what I had been doing. I take on all of these challenges that I have decided will make my life complete: I am going to travel and have adventures, make friends and be liked here, do well in my classes be successful in life…

In all of these things, I may toss a casual prayer up—“Hey God, just wanted to let you know that I want this stuff and you should make it happen because you love me and you are sovereign. I am going to ‘trust’ you on this, but I don’t have time to chat, because I need to go strive to make all this happen so I can by happy. K bye”—but I am not actually trusting God with these things. I hold them so close! I work so hard to get ‘the good life’ for myself, but it just isn’t possible for me to do. And you know what the greatest part of this is? Those things don’t even matter.

Regardless of whether I travel nowhere during my stay in South Africa, make no friends, and fail my classes, the purpose of my life is still going to be worshiping the God of the universe. 

Its amazing. While I am busy stressing and freaking out, my creator is literally here with me, moving heaven and earth so that I have the chance to have a personal relationship with him. He is SO BIG. And I am so busy running around trying to make myself happy that I completely ignore the one who will actually satisfy my longings. I can be pretty obtuse sometimes. But that’s is why I have days where things don’t go the way I planned… so I can realize that not only do I not have the power to make things go according to my plan, but that I might have the plan all wrong anyway. If life were great all the time, I would forget how much I need God… I get so easily distracted by the daily little things. Is it weird that I am grateful for today?

I just want to share a passage from Job 40 that hints at the truth about my life (and yours?)…

“Then the LORD spoke to Job out of the storm:

“Brace yourself like a man: I will question you, and you shall answer me.

 Would you discredit my justice?

Would you condemn me to justify yourself?

Do you have an arm like God’s,

and can your voice thunder like his?

Then adorn yourself with glory and splendor,

and clothe yourself in honor and majesty.

Unleash the fury of your wrath,

look at all who are proud and bring them low,

look at all who are proud and humble them,

crush the wicked where they stand.

Bury them all in the dust together;

shroud their faces in the grave.

Then I myself will admit to you

that your own right hand can save you.”  (v. 6-14)

I don’t know about you, but my right hand is not up to the task. Yet somehow, I am comforted. I don’t need to take life into my own hands. I can’t make it go the way I want, but I don’t have to. Its not that the stuff I was stressing about isn’t important, but we have a God that is so much more important.

P.S. …And he is faithful. I found out yesterday that we don’t have to empty everything out of our rooms over term vac (like they do for some vacations); I can leave my stuff that I don’t need safely here, even though the res will be closed. And that zoo paper? I talked to the professor, and he is letting me re-write it. But even if he wasn’t…praise God. 

Walk On-Braddigan

Allow me to give you a slightly eccentric walking tour of campus… let's start at Beit House:

My ethno class is the farthest walk, regardless of whether I am at the International Library of African Music for my practical, or the Environmental Sciences building for lectures. The ES building is on the front corner of campus, which I believe used to be a convent that was later bought by the school. It’s a nice walk, because you have to cross a little wooden bridge over a stream, and you can often hear piano music playing from the open windows of the music building (which is right next to the ES building).

Speaking of music, there is a guitar player who I have seen twice now, sitting on the wall next to the psychology building as I walk down to Ethno. There are occasionally street musicians who play on the corners in Grahamstown, but this guy looks like a student, and I don’t know if he is just playing for fun or not. Either way, he is really good… he seems to be playing classical style guitar when I walk by, although I am definitely not an expert. It is very enjoyable. Additionally, the only sculpture on Rhodes’ campus is also on my walk to Ethno (If I just walked past the theater as well, I could get my art fix every time I had class). It is metal and basically looks like a bunch of bicycles welded together to imply motion. There is also a comical sign next to it... it doesn’t say ‘do not climb the sculpture because you will get in trouble’ but basically ‘do not climb the sculpture because it’s tough luck if you fall off.’ Love it!

(Some random guys offered to take my picture... they were traveling from near Durban to Cape Town, preaching 'the truth', which seemed slightly complicated and involved a lot of signs and biblical references. We had an interesting chat, some of which I agreed with and some of which was just confusing. I am so glad that the gospel is straightforward... )

Another thing I love is the walk from my res to the dining hall. Firstly, the walk is only slightly longer than the walk from my house to my Grandma’s porch, and it is even more socially acceptable for me to wear my slippers during said walk. Normally I would not be caught out of my res dressed down (unless its Late Night at the library with Elle, in which case grunge clothes are required) but there are so many days that it is cold and I want to wear socks without tying the shoelaces on my sneakers. I miss boots so much! However, besides the charm of the cute little stone path past flowers a big old tree, the walk is worth it. Not that the food is particularly tasty, but the dining hall has its little charms. There is a sign above the toaster that says, “To avoid burnt offerings, heat settings should remain between…” Also, there is always tea, and although I have my own now (breakthrough: microwaves heat water, so why would I bother buying a kettle?), I still appreciate it.

(This is the view from the steps of our dining hall)

(Another set of steps from the dining hall... my slipper-safe walkway)

Next to the library is a big tree with these really cool birds' nests. I told you that I wasn't taking pictures of birds, but I lied. The nests hang down from the ends of branches and look like little woven pods, with the entrance to the nests a hole on the bottom. It is a super interesting construction, and they are attached to the branches incredibly well... it gets very windy, and the branches all whip around and the nests swing all over the place, but they remain firmly attached to the tree.

(I know you can't fully appreciate them in this picture and its hard to see, but here are some nests with the library in the background) 

One continuous challenge with our walking tour is the actual walking… I have yet to come to a solid decision about what side of the sidewalk I should be walking on. At home, I can confidently walk on the right side, and know that everything is as it should be. Here, things are more confusing… I originally thought “well, they drive on the left, so I suppose I had better walk on that side” but this is not a foolproof plan, and I still find myself narrowly avoiding colliding with people all the time. Stairs are the worst, because most of them have turns and landings, so you can’t see when people are coming. This makes walking slightly stressful, but don’t worry, I can handle it.

Gray or Blue-Jaymay

Okay, some things that I should have been mentioning while I was busy writing papers for the past week…

Tuesday, I had a really interesting history lecture about the Cattle Killings, which I had seen referenced a few times but didn’t really know anything about. The actual story was intense, and it sounds like half a fairy tale without the Disney ending. Basically, a young girl was visited by two strangers in 1856, who brought a prophecy that the Xhosa people needed to kill all of their cattle. The cattle were apparently unclean from being tended by ‘dirty hands’ (witchcraft). Once all the cattle were killed and all the crops destroyed, the people were to build bigger kraals (holding areas for their cattle) and dig bigger grain pits, because bounty would be brought to all of the people, and everyone would have abundance, and the dead (their ancestors) would rise. This message got the Xhosa King, who believed prophetess girl for some reason, and he told the people to follow through with it. Some didn’t, but the majority did, and since the dead didn’t rise and the new cattle didn’t come (technically, they never killed all of the cattle—about 10% of the people refused—thus not fulfilling their part of the prophecy) the people had no food, and either starved (around 75,000 people died) or were forced to sign agreements with the British colonial government to sell themselves as labor in exchange for food supplies. I mean, it was way more complicated than that, but that is the main idea. There is still a ton of controversy and conspiracy theories about who the strangers were, if they really existed, who is to blame for the cattle killings, the socio-historical factors involved... I won’t go into any more detail, but it was intense. I really like my history class, even if taking it means an exam on November 30th.

Thursday, I went to volunteer at the Rafael Centre for the first time, and had an awesome experience. There is a program there for high school students from the township who are infected or affected by HIV. It is similar to the idea of a support group; they get resources and information about AIDS (the stigma here is huge, and there are still lots of people who don’t have accurate information about the virus) as well as incentives and support to live a better life (if they attend all of the events, they each get a cell phone that was donated to the centre, which is a big deal because, according to Gillian, guys will sell drugs and girls will sell themselves to get a cell phone) and a chance to be with other people their age going through similar experiences. One part of Gillian’s job is finding out what else these kids need, and trying to get it for them. In some cases, they have asked for extra help with schoolwork, and this is where I came in! I am going to be mentoring one afternoon a week, tutoring someone that wants the help. Although I have always felt unprepared to be a tutor (I swear it requires more than just being a good student, especially because if you are a good student, you don't have the experience of ever being tutored) my experiences volunteering for Elle’s LIU migrant education program at Gettysburg has prepared me at least a bit. In fact, I think it was good training, as the two main differences here are a Xhosa accent instead of a Spanish one, and the desire to learn, the second of which I am totally down with. (To clarify, it isn't that none the LIU kids want to learn, but since only the Rafael Centre kids who have asked for extra help are getting tutored, they actually want to be there, which is awesome.) 

I don’t know if we will be paired with the same kids for the semester, but I got to work with a Senior (they call senior year matric year in SA) guy named Aya. If I get to work with him again, my goal is to learn to say his full name, but that wasn’t attainable this week. He wanted help with life sciences and geography, which was terrifying for a minute because I had no idea what earth sciences was and I am terrible at geography (especially African geography, can you label just the 54 official countries on a map? I can do like 10). However, it turns out that life sciences is biology! When he opened his textbook to Mendel and Darwin, I was so happy I could have sung. Discussing genes and loci and meiosis was like a dream for me, although we had some awkward times reviewing the female reproductive cycle, complete with hormonal patterns and every form of birth control that exists. While this is a great thing for teenage boys to know about, I would love it if someone other than myself was transmitting the knowledge…

This week mostly has been a blur of paper writing. On the bright side, I am pleased to note that I managed to keep my library total down to three, which was a nice average of one library per paper (I still don’t know where the Ichthyology Library is). I did get to go to a braai on Friday afternoon after I finished my papers... It was a res bonding thing, so we had it right next to Beit. Can you imagine having a barbecue area next to every res on campus? It’s all about priorities. Anyway, we had yummy food, although the weather had gotten colder and threatening. We have been having a weird weather pattern where the day starts out beautiful, then it gets really windy, and storm clouds roll in around dinnertime. At least it hasn’t been raining! In fact, compared to the weather at home, I would say that we have it pretty nice. And when it is nice, it is amazing…the sky is so blue that it is almost painful.

It's really blue... just sayin

Paper Planes-M.I.A.

The study abroad wave has hit. Not here obviously, since we are just chilling in the middle of our term (actually, we are in the second to last week of term, and it is past time to make plans for term vacation), but facebook has been strewn with statuses about people either going back to school or going abroad. I am actually really glad that I came so early; not only am I a trendsetter (hahaha), but really, it is nice that I am not having the shock of settling in while all my friends back at Gburg have a jolly good time together. I am sad that I wasn’t at the Leadership Team retreat last week, and it is hard to know that I am missing choir recruitment and seeing everyone again, but I know that God has other plans. Sometimes I just wish I knew what those plans were :)

I am currently in the process of making plans for my term break, and it is comically stressful. Instead of going to classes, coming back from classes, and doing homework, I actually have to make travel decisions that involve other college students. If you don’t already know, getting people in this age group to make definitive plans is like trying to herd some creature that is not meant to be herded. I think goats would be too easy... Anyway, I will hopefully be going somewhere and doing something fun, although we decided that getting to Victoria Falls was too expensive to justify, so no bungee jumping off of the falls for me. On the other hand, the highest jump in the world happens to be along the Garden Route between here and Cape Town…

Anyway, classes have been classes; I go to them, take notes, play the djembe, the usual. This past week was a bit hectic because I had an Ethnomusicology paper due Friday, a Zoology paper due Friday, a Philosophy test Friday, and a History paper due this afternoon. Luckily, I was supposed to be gone this weekend, but the trip got postponed, so I had the weekend to write the history paper. And by weekend, I really mean Sunday, since inevitably that is when I write it. Friday night I was too happy about finishing everything else, and Saturday magically filled up before I noticed it. I went for a run around lunchtime up to the 1820’s Settlers Monument, which is at the top of a hill behind campus, and despite the fact that the steep part at the bottom made me consider quitting and/or dying, I made it up and it was totally worth it. I think that spring is coming; it is hard to tell because plants have been blooming constantly since I got here, but a new variety have started blooming, and they are gorgeous… random wildflowers blooming along the road, and more planted in beds everywhere. There are trees with what looks like cherry blossoms as well near my res, and I love it.

(This is in front of the Psychology building, which is right next to Beit House)

Saturday afternoon resulted in an impromptu tea date, where I finally found a travelling companion (hopefully two) for the term vac. I spent way too much time afterwards determining that a Victoria Falls trip was going to be too expensive to be feasible, and then I got to have great chat time with my Mom and Melissa. I recently made the magical discovery that I can call the US using skype on my computer, and it only costs 2.3 cents/min, which is way cheaper than every other calling plan I have found. So I can now call home, which I love, and obviously I use video skype all the time. Luckily, I am fairly good with my quota usage, so if I accidentally skype for nearly 2 hours, its okay :) 

Faithful-Shawn McDonald

In case the organizers of Destination Imagination were concerned, their program does help prepare people for real life. Actually, I am sure they already know this, but what they don’t know is that I averted a major crisis Friday night when I lost the key to the padlock on my closet door. I lock my laptop and other important things in there (like all my shoes, belts, and laundry hamper, actually), and being the super smart girl that I am, I stuck the extra key to the padlock inside the closet (I didn't exactly anticipate needing it after losing my key). However, with the help of a belt, a necklace, some newspaper, a flashlight, a shoe, a toothbrush (with travel cover), scissors, tape, my dry erase board, some bobby pins, and a thesis I checked out of the library (probably shouldn’t have used that one, but it is fine), I successfully got into my closet in under an hour. It was touch and go for a while, but everything worked out in the end, and I was fairly pleased with my creative problem solving.

In other news, Friday was a good day. I forced myself to go to Cory library and the music library to do research for two of my papers… we have so many libraries it is going to make me crazy. Granted, I like books as much as the next person—probably more, actually—I just wish that these books could be kept in one convenient location, perhaps the huge and beautiful and totally non-sketch library that is a 30 second walk from my door. However, we also have Cory library, which is the historical library where super old and/or super cool books are stored dealing with Eastern Cape (and, I am assuming, South African) history. I enjoy the books in Cory library, but unfortunately, nothing is in circulation, so you have to go there to read them, and this library is only open business hours during the week. Thus, I cannot simultaneously have the primary source for my history paper, write my history paper, and either be in my room or work during the weekend. Moving on, the Music library (not to be confused with the International Library of African Music, which is completely different) is in the music department, which is not a place I would go if it was going to get dark, or if there was bad weather. This library is basically open during business hours, too, although I believe it is supposed to be open for a short time on Saturdays. This is where the sources for my Ethno paper are rumored to be located, so I went there Friday as well. We also have a SAIAB/Ichthyology Library, which is where the sources for my Zoo paper appear to be, based on the catalogue searches I have been doing. I have no idea where this library is; I could always look on a map, but I am thus far boycotting the idea that I need to go to four different libraries for three papers, so I will see what I can find at the main library first. 

Anyway, after getting a bit of work done in the afternoon, Nhla (one of the sub-wardens in Beit) invited me to go with her and a few friends to see Carl Ncube, who is a comedian from Zimbabwe that she knows from home. It was a really funny time, although part of that had more to do with being out of place than actually understanding what was supposed to be funny. Nhla said that most of the people there were from Zimbabwe… I have no idea if she knew all of them (which seems pretty unlikely, since there was a big crowd) or if she just has some magical radar that I am unaware of (this seems pretty unlikely as well, so I am at a loss to explain how she knew). The Rhodes cheerleaders performed, which was a particularly… entertaining… experience. I am pretty sure that my nearest basis of comparison would be Gettysburg’s Bomb Squad, except that Bomb Squad has the occasional guy and/or white girl. Anyway, it was very amusing, and I enjoyed the comedians, although I didn’t get all of the jokes, which was half the fun. Afterwards, I met up with some of the girls in my res, and we went out for a bit. I didn’t really feel like going all that much, since it had gotten so cold, but I don’t want to go out late on Saturday nights, so if I go Friday, I can stay in Saturday and have a nice quiet evening to myself without feeling antisocial. It worked out super well Friday, because one of the girls wanted to head back early, so I went with her and ended up having a nice chat. Roxanne is really sweet, and I am realizing, once again, that there are lots of people here that would be wonderful friends if I would just put the effort into getting to know them. Ah, so much teaching time.

The rest of the weekend was pretty chill. I didn’t do anything worth mentioning on Saturday, unless you want to hear about really boring papers (turns out I only really like researching history papers, and that is still a chore) and quiet evenings in Res. On Sunday, I had intended to go back to Frontiers, but I slept badly (luckily, this doesn’t happen nearly as frequently anymore) and I was so tired this morning that I decided to sleep a few more hours. However, it turns out that when Roxanne goes to church, she goes at night, so I went to River of Life with her this evening. It was an interesting experience; I would definitely call it contemporary, but I don’t think it is somewhere that I would want to attend all the time. The majority of the people there were students (sometimes you just have to spend time around “grown ups” and being around adorable children is always nice), but the important thing was that there was some substance missing in it for me. On the other hand, it was almost nice to be jolted by being in a place where I knew none of the music… it reminded me that the universal church is connected through the bible, not by the worship songs they sing. It’s kind of eye-opening to see, as I have in my time here so far, Christians who are really different than what I am used to in terms of worship, fellowship style, or the way they relate to—or understand—God. God is working in their lives and receiving honor and praise from them just as he does with me… and yet, in different ways. God is way more ‘big picture’ than I am, and that can only be a good thing. I just want to see a bit more of the picture the way that he does, and even that seems overwhelming. 

Metaphor In Parentheses-House of Heroes

Rhodes University: Good times and classes alternatively had by all. This week has been more of the latter, although Intervarsity last weekend was quite fun (I am now convinced that overalls are the ultimate party clothes... so functional!). However, I now have to be motivated and do research, papers, and general work, which isn’t much to write home about. I am enjoying my classes (obviously, or I wouldn’t be taking 20 credits), which is a good thing, because that is basically all I have done this week. Not that I don’t enjoy the occasional scale of a rock wall or walk to town (I still haven’t gotten rain boots; I found a reasonable pair, but they were red plaid, meaning the red probably would have clashed with my coat—and any pink I ever would want to wear—and the plaid would have clashed with my jacket. I just couldn’t make myself do it) and there are other things that I could be doing to fill my time… I just haven’t been doing them. I realized the other day that I really need to get on top of volunteering, because it seems crazy that I would be here for 5 months and not do some community service, community engagement, or whatever you would like to call it. Luckily, I got an email the next day from Jill about Gillian needing volunteers for the Rafael Center, so hopefully I am going to get involved with that.

With regard to the church searching, I went to a church called Frontiers this Sunday (with the name “Frontiers” and the meeting location in a school, chances were good that I would find a more contemporary worship style. I did). I loved the music, and although I happened to come the week they were ordaining deacons (so the service was a bit different than usual) I still got something out of the sermon. I think I am going to go back and see how round two goes… I am ready to settle down and start going some place regularly, and I like the atmosphere. Also, I ran into Tracey and Kerry (they are twins; one lives on my floor and the other lives in the res next door) while I was there, as well as one of the girls I went on the 268 retreat with. It’s nice to think that I might have walking buddies.

Since things have been pretty chill (at least, with regard to fun, exciting adventures… everyone has seemed especially busy and stressed this week, an environment that I am totally used to) it has given me a chance for some contemplation of how things are going. I can’t believe that I have been here for over a month already… or rather, that a month has passed. Everything just flows so smoothly from one day to another that my concept of time is off. I really miss people at home, although I am not missing home all that much. Of course, I have a pretty variable concept of home (do I mean home at Gettysburg? My real home in Maryland? Home as in the US? It gets tricky when I am talking to people here about home, because I use the same words to describe all of those places) So, to clarify, I am talking about US home, people from all over that I know and love. I am really enjoying being here, and if I could just transport you all over, I would be set. I am starting to get to know people here (in fact, in some sense of the word, you could probably say that I have friends, although my friendship with Melissa Dorrance makes my concept of ‘friend’ perhaps a bit unreasonable. Or so she tells me) but I miss the comfortable ease of just being able to be with people. In a roundabout way, this led me to Romans 12(1-13) the other day, which talks about God disciplining those that he loves. It is a really encouraging section, with so much packed into 13 verses, and got me thinking about the way that God is disciplining me here. I automatically accept the fact the God is working in my life—he makes that obvious all the time in the ways he provides for me—but I am less cognizant of how he is disciplining me. More frequently, when there is something in my life I don’t like, I take it to Him and tell Him to fix it, rather than looking for what he is trying to teach me.

I haven’t totally worked it out yet, but there is certainly something that he is teaching me through the isolation I have here. A part of it has to do with being known by him—really known—which is something that I tend to ignore or downplay when I feel like I am around people that know me, more or less. But that isn’t disciplining so much as revealing. I think the main thing that I am seeing right now is that when being with people takes effort, I am so quick to withdrawal, which seems safer (its not) and easier (probably also not in the long run, although I haven’t been running very long so I can’t say for sure). Romans 12:1 ends with “let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” Right now, the path marked for me involves the girls here in my life. While I know that discipleship—in the nice structured way I understand it at home—requires death to self, I didn’t realize that sometimes it means actually opening up and being myself around other people when I would rather be a silent observer to their dinner conversations or spend a quiet evening in the company of my laptop. Yeah, I haven’t gotten things all figured out, but even if I am a slow learner, I have some time.

P.S. Sorry for all of the parentheses… I have so many extra, random thoughts that don’t fit in the actual sentences, I should probably be using footnotes or something. But that would just be weird, and I spend enough time footnoting history papers.

Beautiful Day-U2

While many of you were just getting up yesterday, it was the middle of a beautiful afternoon in Grahamstown. It was sunny, and warm for a change… it hasn’t been this nice since the first few days I was here. Besides the list of homework that is not finished, it was an extremely productive and enjoyable day...

The reason my last post was so late was because I was having internet issues, and I couldn’t connect to post it, but things are all good now. In an example of fate’s twisted sense of humor, my browser was crashing every time I opened any webpage… except facebook. So I couldn’t do the research for my history paper, but I could get on facebook—not a good combination. Plus, my mail program and dcplus were both connecting to the internet fine, so I could waste time watching tv shows or checking email, I just couldn’t do any important work. However, I took my laptop to the helpdesk yesterday and they got everything straightened out, so I have full internet back now.

This weekend is Intervarsity, which is when Rhodes and three other universities compete in a bunch of sports competitions from rugby and soccer to surfing and tennis (and don’t forget water polo, squash, and debate). Unfortunately, Tri-Var—apparently the 4^th school was added recently, and people haven’t really switched to calling it Intervarsity—isn’t being held at Rhodes this year, but that doesn’t mean that nothing will be going on. I haven’t figured out if this is more of a homecoming or Springfest sort of weekend, but there will be a lot of school spirit (as well as some other spirits). Anyway, one of the Tri-Var traditions involves painting overalls with purple paint for school pride, so yesterday afternoon I successfully got myself a pair, which I painted with some of the girls in my res last night. I figure that while I am here, I might as well be like all the other Rhodents.

In other fun, Tuesday was a national holiday: Women’s Day! I absolutely love the fact that Women’s Day is important enough to justify no classes (especially since nothing at Gettysburg is important enough to merit a day off). I have unfortunately missed the silent protest the Rhodes has every year for Sexual Violence (I think its in april… and it is a crazy intense silent protest. The slogan is Sexual Violence=Silence, and the protestors all cover their mouths with duck tape and don’t speak, eat or drink all day. Also, they have a “die-in” in the courtyard outside the library, as well as a march downtown… you can find some pictures or more info at:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/164677043587907/

Anyway, the sad news is that I missed it, but the good news is that there are some other women’s day events this week, including a production of The Vagina Monologues. For those of you who haven’t heard of it, The Vagina Monologues is a play written by Eve Ensler, based on interviews she did with over 200 women from all over the world. It brings attention to important women’s issues, and proceeds from the show are used to fund anti-violence and women’s empowerment programs. I performed in Gettysburg’s production last year because I think that brining attention to some of these unspeakable issues is important, and I was really excited to see Rhodes production last night. It was well done, made me extremely uncomfortable at times (not surprisingly), and was overall a good show. It is a new experience every time, and I was amused by the South African accents in abundance throughout the show (Eve has notes directing different accents for some monologues, and it was fun hearing a typically southern monologue performed with a SA accent).

Lastly, other than the history paper I have not been researching that will not have to be done during Tri-Var weekend, I am enjoying my classes. I had a particularly good philosophy class today; we are studying ethics, and it is kind of funny to have the Divine Command Theory presented by my atheist professor. Its really interesting to think about ethics and why we have them… I have a tendency to rest secure in the knowledge that God is greater than I am, and that there are things I just can’t comprehend in this life, no matter how hard I think about them (what heaven is like, the purpose/plan in suffering, how the genesis account of God’s creation of the world fits with scientific interpretations of evolution… the list goes on). While I enjoy having some of the ‘peace that passes understanding,’ I think it might result in laziness on my part sometimes. I don’t try to understand things because I know I can’t totally figure them out right now, but that one day I will know. However, class is beginning to make me think that spending time thinking about things such as goodness can really be beneficial, and gaining a deeper understanding (albeit, one that is still incomplete) of these concepts actually helps to understand God better. Anyway, class has been interesting recently, and I especially enjoyed when one girl today proposed that good is that which brings glory to God, which totally nullified the criticism we were discussing and left the teacher pondering in silence for awhile. Eventually, he decided that he didn’t really have a response other than that this definition of good seemed a little weird to him, and that most people didn’t understand goodness this way. Haha, love it.

P.S. Today is my one month anniversary with South Africa. Cheers :) 

Back In Time-Seventh Day Slumber

Sometimes I don’t think I should even try to put life into words. I can’t properly describe all the ways that my heart feels at once; how will you ever get the complete picture? I feel like writing is supposed to be cathartic, getting all of your feelings out and all that. Instead, I feel frustrated by my inability to actually communicate, hemmed in by sentence structure, tone and diction. My only consolation is that I am known fully by God, that he knows how I feel even when I can’t properly conceptualize it myself.

Psalm 139:4 “Before a word is on my tongue, you know it completely, O LORD.”

And so, buoyed by the knowledge of my creator, I will continue to share my thoughts with you…

Things are good on the Eastern Cape. I spent this weekend with 268, which is a Christian organization on campus (one of many, apparently) that has connections with the Baptist church that Jill attends. They had a retreat and she mentioned it to me because she thought I might be interested. Since I am disappointed about missing the upcoming LT retreat, and I really want to find people whose weekend activities are more along the lines of my own, I was totally up for a weekend away with some other Christians.

Obviously, it wasn’t DCF, which I knew going in… its not like I can just find a group that instantly feels like home. I have to work to get to know people, and adjust to the group and their own dynamics. The good thing is that we serve the same God, which is a pretty good place to start. While my DCF homesickness was intensified at some points of the weekend, I had a good time, and it was great to just spend some time focusing on God. I was particularly amused when I joined a group of people standing in a circle Friday afternoon, then realized that not only had they segregated by gender around the circle, but that I had moved to the correct side without even noticing. Also, Sunday afternoon we played dodge ball and soccer, and I couldn’t resist playing both just to say that I had (actually, to be honest, I had no choice about dodge ball, since it was basically a required activity, and I didn’t touch the soccer ball the entire time we played).

There were, however, some things that I don’t normally do with DCF… we were staying in a nature reserve not far from Grahamstown (Thomas Baines Reserve), so Saturday afternoon I went for a walk through the African bush. No big deal. Also, Saturday night was my first braai, a very important South Africa milestone for me. For those of you who are not South African (or African, because I know other countries in southern Africa have braais), a braai is… basically… a barbecue/cookout, except not exactly what you think of when you imagine a barbecue. I can’t claim to be an expert, but people here are very serious about their braais, and there seem to be unspoken ground rules involving the meat (boerewors, among other things), the fire, the gender roles, etc. I sort of broke the rules by hanging out around the fire instead of staying in the kitchen, but I have always liked fire, and they were the generous type that would overlook the American girl’s antics. 

I am back on campus now, both glad I went and happy to be here again. Firstly, it was cold this weekend (53 degrees F inside when I went to bed Saturday night) and I am now enjoying my room with its heater back at res. Also, I am still working at the whole ‘reaching out’ and ‘making friends’ thing, and sometimes I find that it take an inordinate amount of energy to force myself to socialize. On the other hand, I obviously don’t want to just be isolated from people for the next four months, and to have friends you have to actually put some effort into making them. It’s probably character building or something, and at the very least God is teaching me both about idols in my life and the things that really matter.

Adrenaline-Gavin Rossdale

I have spent so much time recently doing things that are not work. If I was at Gettysburg, I would be drowning in work and staying up till depressing hours of the morning, functioning on little sleep, and generally being stressed. However, I am at Rhodes, I only feel a little bit guilty, I am mostly pleased with myself for finding things to do, and I plan on spending most of the weekend not on campus or doing any school work.

Granted, it’s not that I am slacking off exactly… it seems like most people here spend similar amounts of time working, and some of them are genuinely surprised how frequently I tell them that my plans are to go study or something. Of course, it is early in the semester, and the general mindset seems to be “go out every night you possibly can while finals are a long way off, and when exams get here, then we will all freak out and get stressed and study.” This is an interesting perspective, and I expect it is heavily influenced by the fact that the final exam counts for 60% of the grade for most courses. Anyway, I have been thoroughly conditioned by two years at Gettysburg, and still rigorously attend every lecture for my classes (except on Thursday, when I have a clash between two classes and have to pick one) and make lists of work I should be doing to keep on top of things. So why am I not doing them?

Well, at the moment, it is simply the result of a lack of foresight… I forgot to factor into my plan for tonight the fact that after I went rock-climbing, my fingers would not properly hold a pen. Thus, I am not creating a journal that summarizes and responds to my ethnomusicology readings (which, when you factor in the fact that the teacher wants it to be handwritten with lots of colors and pictures drawn in it, honestly sounds like an elementary school project. Could I really claim to be working even if I was creating my journal?) but am instead reveling in the fact that I skipped work to rock climb! There is a mountaineering society on campus that on alternate weekends goes hiking or rock climbing, and the walls are open in the center for them every Tuesday and Thursday from 6-8 (at least, I am pretty sure that is how it works...) so I went tonight with M.E. and Eva, who are both interested in hiking. I really want to climb (and hike, to a lesser extent), but I am so out of shape… and my poor hands are so sad right now. The metal content—or perhaps the chlorine, although there can’t be that much in the water—has been making my hands peel, and the combined effect of the chalk tonight didn’t help things. I should be used to it, because chlorine in the pool will do the same thing at the beginning of the summer, but it is making me crazy. I have been rationing my hand lotion since I got here, because who doesn’t want to keep the ability to make your hands spell like lemon furniture polish at will? However, I think I will be moving into plan B, which is use hand lotion all the time and buy more (albeit, non-lemon furniture polish) lotion if necessary. Important deliberations, I know.

Other that that, I went to the Real Curry restaurant today with Jill (we met so that she could lend me a sleeping bag and some stuff for this weekend) and got some Bunny Chow. I rarely eat Indian food at home… actually, I never eat Indian food at home, I don’t even know where to find Indian food at home, so it was a fun experience. Also, due to my lack of US Indian food expertise, I am not positive, but I think that Bunny Chow is unique to South-African-Indian food. Apparently, there is a pretty big Indian population living in Durban, where the owner of our restaurant is from, and Bunny Chow is said to have originated from there as a way to eliminate the need for a bowl or utensils for people getting take-away (or carry-out) food. Vendors could sell it on the street; just hollow out a ½ or ¼ loaf of bread and fill it with beef or lamb or chicken (or whatever else you want) curry. Also, the bread from the center of the loaf makes a nice little lid. Think bread-bowl, but curry. Yum.

I also went shopping today and picked up The Racist’s Guide To The People Of South Africa.  (Confused? Think Stuff White People Like. Still confused? Meditate on the phrase ‘satirical comedy’ and if you really don’t get it, go to Wikipedia or something). I probably should wait for a while before I read it, as I won’t fully appreciate all of the stereotypes yet, but I really went to the bookstore to buy a notebook for the previously-mentioned Ethnomusicology journal, and how much fun is that? So I augmented the trip with one more thing I can keep in my room to distract me. Jill lent me African Women: Three Generations, which is a really good read about the life of a Grandmother, Mother, and Daughter (the author’s Grandmother, Mother and Sister) but I have finished it. I found it really interesting, not only because it talked about life during Apartheid for black women in the townships, but because it really helped me to understand these women’s point of view about their rights as women, and the way that they resisted the male-dominated culture within the bounds of that culture. I am also reading a book called The Sunburnt Queen, which is (almost) totally legitimate because I am writing a history paper about the subject of the book… a young English girl who was shipwrecked on the “Wild Coast” of the Eastern Cape and ended up marrying two Xhosa princes in the course of her lifetime. So its like I am doing work. Sort of. Almost. 

Little You And I-Jason Mraz

I just wanted to mention a few things that have been on my mind over the past few days here. Nothing exactly schedule/agenda related, but rather some random thoughts from South Africa:

Firstly, I am constantly aware of how many people around me are speaking different languages. To be fair, I don’t know if they are all speaking the same language or not (I think it is 3 different languages, but thats really a guess) but at the very least they are speaking a different language than mine. This isn’t totally uncommon in the US; you can run into Spanish-speakers, Hindi-speakers, Chinese-speakers, etc. at home. However, many Americans tend to be rather offended or uncomfortable when this happens… they don’t like the fact that they don’t know what the people around them are saying, and I have heard plenty of times that if ‘those people’ want to live in the US, they should learn English. While I am obviously in a different context in South Africa, the point that stands out to me is that the people speaking different languages here DO know English. It is the language of instruction at Rhodes, and as students here they are required to be fluent in English, yet chose to speak another language when out of the classroom. It seems perfectly normal that they should speak whichever language they want, and I just wonder what this implies about the general discomfort at home with non-English speakers.

Another thought… I keep running into a cat on campus!  She is a calico, and I only see her at night, hanging out around the main part of campus. I don’t really go out at night much, but the three times I went to the library after dark I saw her in the courtyard, and I saw her once during orientation week when I was coming back from a computer lab. She is very obviously a domestic cat; she has a collar with a bell, and when I petted her last night, I saw that she has Phoebe written on her collar. I only hope that she chooses to be out at night, and isn’t a homeless kitty (I wont even use the word stray, because she is so tame that she will follow me after I pet her… clearly, she is a people cat). Anyway, this is a picture I took of Phoebe last week, I am sure you are all very excited.

I often find myself discouraged by my sin. Wouldn’t it be nice if when you went to a new continent you were suddenly perfect, or at least better? Instead, I find myself with the same struggles as before, except that now I don’t have people to alternately chastise or encourage me when necessary. Luckily, the psalm countdown I am doing has me to the 70s and 80s, which frequently seem to have themes of God persevering with his people when they disbelieve, rebel, reject him, forget him, or find some other way to sin. I just wanted to share a bit of my experience with Psalm 86, which has been really helpful in the last week or so. I went to do my psalm reading right before bed, as I had (again) managed to fill my day with seemingly important things that I can’t even remember doing anymore. The psalm opens with “Hear, O Lord, and answer me, for I am poor and needy. Guard my life, for I am devoted to you.” I had to stop reading at that point, because it seemed so hypocritical to take this as my own prayer when the truth was that I wasn’t feeling particularly devoted.

After a minute, I just really felt drawn to repentance for the condition of my heart, and the way that I try to build my life on other things in a search for happiness, when real joy is within my reach. Anyway, I had some time of heartfelt conversation with God, and returned to Psalm 86, and guess what I found?

“Bring joy to your servant,

for to you, O Lord,

I lift up my soul.

You are forgiving and good, O Lord,

abounding in love to all who call to you.

Hear my prayer, O Lord,

Listen to my cry for mercy.” (86:4-6)

“Teach me your way, O Lord,

and I will walk in your truth;

give me an undivided heart,

that I may fear your name.

I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart;

I will glorify your name forever.

For great is your love toward me;

you have delivered me from the

depths of the grave.” (86:11-13)

I have been so encouraged by the way that God speaks to me even when I am so distracted by myself that I forget that I need to listen for Him. Anyway, I just wanted to mention that we have a pretty amazing God.

In other news, there are doves here that sound like owls. I have been meaning to mention that basically since I got to campus, because they are everywhere and it was driving me crazy until someone told me that it was doves making all that noise. They call all day long, and it obviously couldn’t be coming from owls, because of the whole nocturnal thing. I feel much better now that I can locate the source, although it hasn’t made it any quieter! The birds here are actually quite loud, between the doves and what appear to be crows (they are super loud as well) and some songbirds (they have a more normal volume). I must admit that I am not a big bird watcher, and I haven’t taken any pictures of the birds here… they look just like any other birds, only louder.

**I apologize if the subject changes were confusing today... I know that my train of thought sometimes seems haphazard :) It isn't, in case you were wondering, but if I were to spell it out, these posts would be even more ridiculously long than they already are. 

Meant To Live-Switchfoot

For those of you college kids still labouring under the delusion that it is summer, I have unfortunate news for you: the tragedy that has befallen me is coming for you. Soon, you are going to have to write papers again.

I am sorry to be the bearer of such news, but the sad fact is that I am actually not on vacation, and thus have to attend lectures, practicals, seminars, and tutorials, and when I am done I have to do the work assigned from all of these places! To be fair, I actually like learning, and all of my classes are pretty good, so it isn’t exactly torture. In fact, the research that I had to do about the Khoisan people for my History paper was practically enjoyable, minus the whole part where I had to write a paper. While I won’t go into details about what we are doing in all of my classes, it is worth mentioning that  we spent our double history period last week watching The Gods Must Be Crazy, which I had seen several years ago with no idea that it was actually a South African movie. I also didn’t know at the time that it was made in 1980 (during apartheid), or how accurate—or inaccurate—the representations in it are. I still find it pretty entertaining, and the fact that I watched it for a university history class even more so.

Speaking of amusing things, Grahamstown is currently overrun with Americans. I am loosing my originality! I heard so many American accents when I went to town yesterday that I had to resist the simultaneous impulses to laugh aloud and talk to every single group of them. I’m not sure why I want to do this, since there are plenty of Americans to talk to on campus (I mean, the ratio of Americans to other international students is high at least) and it’s not like I have been here long enough to be particularly knowledgeable about the area. Actually, they have been here as long as I have; there are 400 US Marines from the 4th Light Armoured Reconnaissance Battalion that have been training outside of Grahamstown with the SA National Defence Force since July 18^th. I don’t know why suddenly they are all in the town, but the girls in my hall (at least, the ones I had dinner with last night) are quite pleased.

I, however, will be focusing on more mundane things like schoolwork and getting all of my classes straightened out. I am so close to my schedule being set, but I realized yesterday that I have a clash between two of my tutorials, and I missed my philosophy tut. Hopefully, I will be able to make up the work, because I wasn’t able to get things fixed yesterday. I went to the philosophy department, but the secretary was out somewhere (a repeating theme, I am finding… business hours seems to be more flexible in some departments than others) both times I went, so I went to town and bought water just so I could say I accomplished something. The water here is possibly safe to drink—depending on who you talk to—and it hasn’t made me sick the few times I have drunk it, but it has a high metal content, which has something to do with the water leeching metal from Grahamstown's pipe system, which is fairly old. Thus, it tastes metallic, and can sometimes be a weird colour at certain points of the day. There was a container of filtered water to fill water bottles at my vacation dining hall, but not in my current res hall. Luckily, when I forced myself to go buy water yesterday, I was able to get 5 litres of Tsitskkamma spring water for right around US$2 (that’s like a 1&1/3 gallons, for you non-metric users), and I was also amused to find that the label tells me the exact mineral concentrations and the pH of the water.

Besides being the proud owner of some water, I also got some Cadbury chocolate (because obviously when you go to the store for water you should get all the necessities). While I am sort of weird in the fact that I only really like Hershey’s chocolate (sad, since I have not seen Reese’s or any other Hershey’s products since I got here) this chocolate is so good that it will more than satisfy my chocolate cravings, and now the only challenge is not buying it constantly! I really need to start exercising—I admit that I haven’t gone for a run since I got here—but my knee is making a weird popping noise whenever I walk up stairs, and since I go up three flights of them several times a day, I hear it enough to think that probably it's not a good sign. Still, there are several hiking/outdoorsy groups in the area, so I am going to try to connect with them and at least go hiking, even if I am going at a pace too slow to be considered a workout.  I really want to find the rock-climbing society… there are actual rocks here, unlike in the pastures of Pennsylvania, and it would be nice to get access to the wall, but finding and joining societies in the middle of the year is quite a challenge. Still, I am just trusting that God will help lead me in the ways I spend my time here (even if its not GCC or DCF constantly, both of which I will miss) so that I can do His will in spreading God’s love to all his people.