Only You-David Crowder Band

Today started off pretty rough, I’m not going to lie. But everything that was causing my bad day is circumstantial, and I wanted to let you know that God is way more permanent than my issues. This is true for everything, but sometimes it is more apparent than others.

For example, today started out with the thought “today I am going to figure out whether I am going to Mozambique or not”. I didn't. Kristen and I are hoping to travel there over the term vac, but in order for this to happen, I need to find out that 3 things are true:

1.     Cameron (one of the international guys) is coming with us. While I like a good adventure, I am not going with only one girl. If it’s only us, we will stay in SA, where there are more places that girls can travel alone safely.

2.     Vaccinations are not required to enter Mozambique or return to SA. Mozambique is not a Yellow fever region, but often you still need to have the vaccine to re-enter SA from some neighboring countries, and it is possible that it is required for entry. I didn’t get the vaccine before I left because I was a)stupid and b)not planning very well. Since I didn’t need any new vaccines to enter SA, I didn’t bother to go to a travel clinic… which also means that I don’t have the yellow book that has my immunizations record in it. So if you need this to get into Moz, I am stuck.

3.     Visas are either attainable at the border or can be gotten in a week. Citizens of most countries (except SA and a few neighboring countries) need a visa to enter Mozambique, and since we would be traveling by bus, we can’t just land in the airport and take care of it there. Most travel guides say that you can’t get a bus ticket straight to Maputo (the capital) unless you have a visa, because the bus wont wait for you to get one at the border. I think… most information is not very complete or official, and the embassy website is in Portuguese.

Anyway, just writing this out is making my stress level rise. Kristen and I had agreed that we would find out about these three things and make a decision by today. However, Cameron wasn’t in Kristen’s class today, and neither was Yve Marie, the guy who recommended Mozambique to us and would know about visas and vaccinations. Also, Kristen was going to call the embassy today, but she didn’t get time… and thus, still no answers. Planning travel stresses me out, and the fact that the trip is so close is making it way worse.

Then, we got our Zoo papers back after class today, and I didn’t do so well on it. And by not well, what I mean is that the professor thought I was answering a different essay question that I was, and he gave me a 30%. Also, it turns out that I had miscopied the question that I intended to answer, hence the professor not knowing which one I was answering. Either way, bad news bears. The grading system is different here, but a 50% is still failing. Just so you know. Also, Zoology is the only class I am taking that counts toward my major… so it is basically the only class that matters.

Thus, I was not in the best mood right around lunchtime today. Kristen had texted me to say that the guys weren’t in class, and that she wasn’t going to have time to call the embassy. Perhaps I should have offered to call them, but I ran out of airtime last night and need to buy more before I can make any calls. Also, I was fairly distressed by that point in the day, and I selfishly didn’t want to deal with it.

So, that brings us to the point in the story were things turn the corner. I had already used up my quota of listening to Jason Mraz’s Details in the Fabric to calm down while trying to figure out travel plans yesterday, and today was beyond Jason’s abilities. So I gave up trying to do my zoo lab, and opened my bible, which had psalm 49 marked for today. It might be hard to see this psalm as encouraging on the first read through, but I needed it. Verse 13 talks about “the fate of those who trust in themselves”, and it hit me so hard… that’s exactly what I had been doing. I take on all of these challenges that I have decided will make my life complete: I am going to travel and have adventures, make friends and be liked here, do well in my classes be successful in life…

In all of these things, I may toss a casual prayer up—“Hey God, just wanted to let you know that I want this stuff and you should make it happen because you love me and you are sovereign. I am going to ‘trust’ you on this, but I don’t have time to chat, because I need to go strive to make all this happen so I can by happy. K bye”—but I am not actually trusting God with these things. I hold them so close! I work so hard to get ‘the good life’ for myself, but it just isn’t possible for me to do. And you know what the greatest part of this is? Those things don’t even matter.

Regardless of whether I travel nowhere during my stay in South Africa, make no friends, and fail my classes, the purpose of my life is still going to be worshiping the God of the universe. 

Its amazing. While I am busy stressing and freaking out, my creator is literally here with me, moving heaven and earth so that I have the chance to have a personal relationship with him. He is SO BIG. And I am so busy running around trying to make myself happy that I completely ignore the one who will actually satisfy my longings. I can be pretty obtuse sometimes. But that’s is why I have days where things don’t go the way I planned… so I can realize that not only do I not have the power to make things go according to my plan, but that I might have the plan all wrong anyway. If life were great all the time, I would forget how much I need God… I get so easily distracted by the daily little things. Is it weird that I am grateful for today?

I just want to share a passage from Job 40 that hints at the truth about my life (and yours?)…

“Then the LORD spoke to Job out of the storm:

“Brace yourself like a man: I will question you, and you shall answer me.

 Would you discredit my justice?

Would you condemn me to justify yourself?

Do you have an arm like God’s,

and can your voice thunder like his?

Then adorn yourself with glory and splendor,

and clothe yourself in honor and majesty.

Unleash the fury of your wrath,

look at all who are proud and bring them low,

look at all who are proud and humble them,

crush the wicked where they stand.

Bury them all in the dust together;

shroud their faces in the grave.

Then I myself will admit to you

that your own right hand can save you.”  (v. 6-14)

I don’t know about you, but my right hand is not up to the task. Yet somehow, I am comforted. I don’t need to take life into my own hands. I can’t make it go the way I want, but I don’t have to. Its not that the stuff I was stressing about isn’t important, but we have a God that is so much more important.

P.S. …And he is faithful. I found out yesterday that we don’t have to empty everything out of our rooms over term vac (like they do for some vacations); I can leave my stuff that I don’t need safely here, even though the res will be closed. And that zoo paper? I talked to the professor, and he is letting me re-write it. But even if he wasn’t…praise God. 

History is Falling for Science-This Day & Age

Freshman orientation strikes again. Actually, this is not nearly as bad as freshman orientation... I have not yet been forced to participate in any icebreakers or any sporting competitions with the other international students. And when I say international students, what I really mean is Americans. There are about 28 international students that are here studying for the coming semester (this doesn't include undergrad or post grad students who are studying for longer than a semester) and all are Americans except for three students from Muenster (in Germany). Orientation has been fine, and it has been nice to learn a little of the school history, as well as find out where things are in the library, and learn about this mysterious thing called a quota that tracks and limits internet usage. Not that I am super excited about the quota, which sounds a bit scary and restrictive, but all of the staff keep assuring us that it really isn't that bad and that we will get used to it just fine (I am not sure some of the other students have taken these assurances to heart). Everything has basically been pretty laid back; we go to some sessions, have a ton of free time and then spend half of our free time trying to figure out what to do with all of our free time. Exciting, yes? 

So far, my most exciting orientation-week adventures have been going out for tea and shopping. And you had best not scoff at either activity, because 1) I had never had such a strong urge to go out at night to drink tea before and 2) I was really proud of my solo shopping adventure. Tuesday night, after another dinner at the dining hall- I am starting to understand why other college students go out to eat so frequently when they don't have Gettysburg food- several of us decided that we really wanted some tea, and since there was a group of us (including 2 guys, which is a full 50% of the male international student population) we were safe to go out after dark. Woo! We went to this restaurant/bar, and the guys we brought with us conserved their manliness by ordering some kind of beer, rather than tea (although someone should have told them that to be "a real man", they needed to find a can to throw their bottle in...) Anyway, it was fun to get out and not end up dancing on tables at the Rat&Parrot, which is how some of my fellow internationals apparently amuse themselves.

Wednesday, I had vast amounts of free time again (we are working on registration, talking to department heads and signing up for classes, which is a pretty time-flexible process) so I decided to venture to High Street to get a few things that I forgot to pack, as well as envelopes in the event that I ever want to mail letters (I know it takes much longer than email, but there are cool stamps here) and some groceries. I didn't get lost exactly, since I generally knew where I was the whole time, but I did have a little trouble finding the pharmacy the first time around, and the success on my second go around the block was that much sweeter. I actually have the most fun in grocery stores here, where I can just wander around and see what food items I could technically buy. I got some dried mangoes when I first went shopping, which are quite tasty and are also much less dried than the ones that I usually get in the US. Since I have a bad habit of not getting up to go to breakfast (which is 7-8:15am, dreadfully early if you a)hate mornings b)are still on summer time and c)don't actually have anywhere to be till much later), I needed to replace all 4 of the Special K bars I brought with me and subsequently ate. I found some Jungle bars, which sound fun even though they have nothing in common with the juice, and I will update you on their tastiness when I break into them. I also got a box of crackers... what I really wanted most in the world was a pack of Saltines, but I couldn't find any. What I got instead look like Ritz crackers, except that they are not salty and are bacon-flavored instead. Now do you understand why grocery shopping is such an adventure? You never know what you are going to end up with. I was tempted to get a bottle of balsamic vinaigrette, but I will hold off on being the crazy American girl that brings her own dressing to the dining hall at least until I meet the people I will be living with permanently.

Course selection is going okay... I have just about nailed down my schedule, although I can't take everything that I wanted. I will definitely be taking Zoo302, which will be marine Zoology. Since I can't transfer any psych credits back for my major at home, and the Psych302 directly conflicts with the Zoo302 because there is little connection between the two departments (I had a nice chat with the department head about how psychology is considered to by a "soft" science here by the general scientific community and how that has something to do with the apartheid legacy and the tendency of psychologists here to approach things qualitatively instead of quantitatively) I won't be taking any psych. The department head told me I could sit in (they don't really use the term audit) on 202 lectures, but from our discussion, I think it will be a repeat of topics I have already covered. Its a shame, since the psych head has been by far my favorite professor encountered thus far. Anyway, Third Year courses are worth 8 credits, so I really only need two additional 4 credit classes to have a full schedule. I am going to take a Second Year course on South African history, an Introductory Philosophy course that I believe will cover ethics and free will, and an Ethnomusicology course. I really wanted to take this music course titled Music, Health and the Brain (doesn't that sound like a dream class?) but it conflicts with history and zoology, so I will be learning how to plan some african instrument from the International Library of African Music instead. I suppose that if I was ever going to take an ethnomusicology course-which I wasn't planning on-that I might as well take it here. If this all works out, I will be taking 20 credits, and can always cut back to three courses if the workload is too much.

I also talked to the department chair about volunteer opportunities through the psych department (I just missed a chance to work on a huge project they had that dealt with art and healing... so sad!) and he gave me a few professors to check with, so if there are any new projects going on, I will see if I can help out. Otherwise, there is a Centre for Community Engagement, so I can always volunteer with their reading program, if I can't do any psych. Soon I will probably lament fondly on the vast ammounts of free time I currently have, but for now, I am looking forward to everything starting!