Metaphor In Parentheses-House of Heroes

Rhodes University: Good times and classes alternatively had by all. This week has been more of the latter, although Intervarsity last weekend was quite fun (I am now convinced that overalls are the ultimate party clothes... so functional!). However, I now have to be motivated and do research, papers, and general work, which isn’t much to write home about. I am enjoying my classes (obviously, or I wouldn’t be taking 20 credits), which is a good thing, because that is basically all I have done this week. Not that I don’t enjoy the occasional scale of a rock wall or walk to town (I still haven’t gotten rain boots; I found a reasonable pair, but they were red plaid, meaning the red probably would have clashed with my coat—and any pink I ever would want to wear—and the plaid would have clashed with my jacket. I just couldn’t make myself do it) and there are other things that I could be doing to fill my time… I just haven’t been doing them. I realized the other day that I really need to get on top of volunteering, because it seems crazy that I would be here for 5 months and not do some community service, community engagement, or whatever you would like to call it. Luckily, I got an email the next day from Jill about Gillian needing volunteers for the Rafael Center, so hopefully I am going to get involved with that.

With regard to the church searching, I went to a church called Frontiers this Sunday (with the name “Frontiers” and the meeting location in a school, chances were good that I would find a more contemporary worship style. I did). I loved the music, and although I happened to come the week they were ordaining deacons (so the service was a bit different than usual) I still got something out of the sermon. I think I am going to go back and see how round two goes… I am ready to settle down and start going some place regularly, and I like the atmosphere. Also, I ran into Tracey and Kerry (they are twins; one lives on my floor and the other lives in the res next door) while I was there, as well as one of the girls I went on the 268 retreat with. It’s nice to think that I might have walking buddies.

Since things have been pretty chill (at least, with regard to fun, exciting adventures… everyone has seemed especially busy and stressed this week, an environment that I am totally used to) it has given me a chance for some contemplation of how things are going. I can’t believe that I have been here for over a month already… or rather, that a month has passed. Everything just flows so smoothly from one day to another that my concept of time is off. I really miss people at home, although I am not missing home all that much. Of course, I have a pretty variable concept of home (do I mean home at Gettysburg? My real home in Maryland? Home as in the US? It gets tricky when I am talking to people here about home, because I use the same words to describe all of those places) So, to clarify, I am talking about US home, people from all over that I know and love. I am really enjoying being here, and if I could just transport you all over, I would be set. I am starting to get to know people here (in fact, in some sense of the word, you could probably say that I have friends, although my friendship with Melissa Dorrance makes my concept of ‘friend’ perhaps a bit unreasonable. Or so she tells me) but I miss the comfortable ease of just being able to be with people. In a roundabout way, this led me to Romans 12(1-13) the other day, which talks about God disciplining those that he loves. It is a really encouraging section, with so much packed into 13 verses, and got me thinking about the way that God is disciplining me here. I automatically accept the fact the God is working in my life—he makes that obvious all the time in the ways he provides for me—but I am less cognizant of how he is disciplining me. More frequently, when there is something in my life I don’t like, I take it to Him and tell Him to fix it, rather than looking for what he is trying to teach me.

I haven’t totally worked it out yet, but there is certainly something that he is teaching me through the isolation I have here. A part of it has to do with being known by him—really known—which is something that I tend to ignore or downplay when I feel like I am around people that know me, more or less. But that isn’t disciplining so much as revealing. I think the main thing that I am seeing right now is that when being with people takes effort, I am so quick to withdrawal, which seems safer (its not) and easier (probably also not in the long run, although I haven’t been running very long so I can’t say for sure). Romans 12:1 ends with “let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” Right now, the path marked for me involves the girls here in my life. While I know that discipleship—in the nice structured way I understand it at home—requires death to self, I didn’t realize that sometimes it means actually opening up and being myself around other people when I would rather be a silent observer to their dinner conversations or spend a quiet evening in the company of my laptop. Yeah, I haven’t gotten things all figured out, but even if I am a slow learner, I have some time.

P.S. Sorry for all of the parentheses… I have so many extra, random thoughts that don’t fit in the actual sentences, I should probably be using footnotes or something. But that would just be weird, and I spend enough time footnoting history papers.